'Na your pikin be dis?' (pidgin English for 'Is this your child?')

I was walking through Abuja airport, sweating under the weight of baby bag and my 9 month old on the hip seat carrier around my waist.

It was my first visit back to Nigeria to see my mum since I had a child and, although exhausted, I was bubbly with anticipation.  I was also aware of stares from passing strangers, eyes snapping wide at dark-skinned me and my baby with his pale skin, slanted eyes and jet black hair. An airport official marched over.

'Na your pikin be dis?' (pidgin English for 'Is this your child?')

'No, I stole him at Heathrow,' I wanted to reply... but she might not have got the joke.

During my trip, I got used to fielding questions on my little Buddha's heritage. I veered from irritation to enjoying spinning wild tales about his dad e.g. he's a professional Sumo wrestler.

You don't have to be of a different racial mix from your baby to be probed in this manner. Mothers are quizzed if they're older (grandma?), have multiples (donor/IVF?), if one child stands out from the rest (milkman?).

In a discussion on Babycentre mums offer even ruder responses to the very rude question 'Where did you get this baby from?'

'From my vagina,' is my personal favourite.

Who Does the Baby Look like?

It's one of the first questions you get asked, after 'Is it a boy or a girl?'  And everybody has an opinion, from midwives to the man on the street.

'Wow, he's the spit of his dad!'  Both my boys bear more than a passing resemblance to their father - ok, in some ways their likeness is shocking. People would gasp when confronted with my husband and baby Ezra, his 'photocopy'.  

But I see myself strongly in them too - the curve of their eyes, cheekbones poking through, Ezra's (slightly) gap-toothed smile. There are pictures of me at 3 with fuzzy Afro looking like a combo of Ezra and Jed in a dress.

It's one thing being told your child looks like his father (the handsome man that you chose to procreate with) and another to be told 'your baby looks NOTHING like you'. I'd laugh it off, but sometimes I felt like a kid with my hand up at the back of class, watching the teacher erase my family tree from the board.

In Your Face!

For parents, claiming whose genes 'won' can become a competitive hobby.  Maria of www.verybusymama.com says her boy Little M is her twin, (he even blogs like mami).

'I personally love it,' she says. 'My husband gets a little jealous but admits he is my mini me. Right down to his bossiness!'

Laura of www.london-baby.com says she and her husband josh about who 'owns' whom, though her kids are a 'good hybrid'. What she loves is seeing the ancestors echoing down the lines.

'Just a glimpse of family resemblance makes you start thinking about how your kids connect the past and the future.'

My mother-in-law Helen admits she'd felt anxious about how her children would look, having never seen herself as a beauty (the fear of having an 'ugly baby' is a whole other blog)!

'I hoped they would bypass my nose and take on my partner's genes. In fact my son was a beautiful mixed race baby and his gene selection was pretty even handed.'

People are often curious that my husband isn't fully white, since our kids are so fair. Actually, we were surprised too.

But the 'light' gene also runs in my family. My mother's sister was often mistaken for a nanny as she pushed her 'white' baby around Baltimore in the early '70s.  Another auntie's newborn was so pale and blue-eyed that she recalls one nurse stammering that she might have brought in the wrong child.

So Who will Your Child Resemble?

There's a theory that all newborns look like their dads, at least for the first 6 months - evolution's way of making sure papa sticks around.  Freakily, certain websites will morph you and your partner's features to mimic your future spawn.

Scientists say some features are dominant (we look for the 'Cole' cheeks and the 'Asika' eyes) and expressions - family members often look alike when sad, angry, happy, disgusted or concentrating.

But the shuffling of up to 100,000 genes among 46 chromosomes - 23 from each parent - is complex, throwing up wild cards.

And how much is in the eye of the beholder? Kids can even resemble their adoptive families despite zero genetic link.

Six years ago, my mother adopted a baby girl in Nigeria who now could pass for my little sister.

'It's weird,' my birth sister tells me. 'She looks just like you'.

Belonging is more than skin deep.

Does your baby look like you? Does it bother you either way? We'd love to hear your thoughts.

Listen out for a fab interview with Uju on Daisy Radio coming week of 20th February 2012

Uju - Founder and Babe-in-chief

http://babesabouttown.com